Didn't make the book!?

SET YOUR DVRs: Sunday, Dec. 6th at 4pm (EST) on ABC for Elmo's Christmas Countdown.

You may ask yourself "Why would Joanna recommend this Sesame Street inspired program when she usually points out only the weird, non-traditional and unusual stuff?" But that question only means you haven't seen it. There is one segment in particular--which I still can't believe EXISTS! It sounds more like the kind of rumor you would hear late into the night at a party and shouldn't believe. I tried to fit it into the book but it didn't squeeze neatly into any of the chapters.

Buried in the middle of Elmo's quest for the boxes of the official Christmas Counterdowner (like an advent calendar), he comes across a production of "The Bert and Ernie TV Christmas Special." But here, Bert is played by actor Tony Sirico and Ernie is actor Steve Schirripa. If you haven't caught on yet--that's Paulie Walnuts and Bobby Bacala from The Sopranos as Bert and Ernie. And why not? I'm not gonna be the one to tell these two guys 'no.'

The rest of Elmo's Christmas Countdown is what you'd expect: it's a great special for the kids with the biggest of celebrities singing Christmas songs with the adorable muppets. But its just this one segment with surprising live actors playing our beloved roommates that sends this special over the top.

Elmo's Christmas Countdown

Denis Leary's Merry F#%$in' Christmas Special

It's that time of year again! Prepare yourself for the purposefully offensive yet funny holiday celebration from the foul-mouthed, chain-smoking, actor/comic Denis Leary.

SET YOUR DVRs: Saturday, Dec. 5th at 2:30 am (EST) on Comedy Central.

I mention this special in several places in the book. This is where you can see the animated parody of 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' twisted into "It's Jihad, Farley Towne." A radical muslim Linus takes the unhappy Charlie Brown...er, uh...Farley Towne under his influence and persuades him to express his newfound radicalism by bombing the children's Christmas pageant. Believe me, it just gets crazier from there.

It's Jihad, Farley Towne

This TV special also spoofs the movie Super Size Me and the reality series 30 Days with filmmaker Morgan Spurlock himself attempting to watch the 1988 made-for-TV movie A Very Brady Christmas twice a day for 30 days straight. And a parody of the old beer commercials with Billy Dee Williams shilling for "Colt 45D" a malt liquor that is also a cold medicine.

Pay close attention to the opening segment's stop-motion animation. This segment was created by animator Corky Quakenbush--the same creator behind MadTV's legendary Raging Rudolph, The Reinfather and A Pack of Gifts Now.

More about this special can be read in my book on pages 67 and 85-86. Did I mention it features guest stars Carmen Electra and William Shatner as well? Don't miss it.

Holiday Bogart

Turner Classic Movies channel is featuring the films of Humphrey Bogart this month of December--also his birthday month. I'm disappointed that they are not airing 1955's We're No Angels. This is a rare glimpse at Bogie in a comedy film and a Christmas movie as well. Along with co-stars Peter Ustinov and Aldo Ray, Devil's Island prison escapee Bogie sings a song about three angels for the Christmas dinner entertainment to the family the three convicts are staying with. Fortunately, this film is easily available on DVD. See also pg 25 of the book for my discussion of this film.

Rare TV Christmas Specials

Today I discovered two new DVDs released this holiday season that (claim to) contain holiday specials from TV's distant past. For as much money as I have spent there, this site should give me free DVDs for this link:

Christmas with the King Family

and, Bell Telephone Hour telecasts: 1959-1966--An Old Fashioned Christmas

There are few things that I love more than watching lost and forgotten television programming. If you already have these, tell me what you think of them--while I wait for the post office to deliver mine.

John Waters Filthy Christmas Freak-Out

I got a postcard in the mail today from Baltimore!! John Waters was responding to my publisher's request for a blurb--those quotes from celebrities on the back cover of books--declining because he just receives too many requests. But he let me know that HE HAD ALREADY PURCHASED THE BOOK before he received my advanced review copy. The idea that he's reading what I wrote is making my head spin. I wish he would have told me--I could have given him a discount.

Of course, I included the awe-inspiring Christmas scene from John Waters' film Female Trouble in my book (see page 122). Dawn Davenport, played brilliantly by Divine, throws one hell of a tantrum on Christmas morning after she doesn't receive the cha cha heels at the top of her Christmas list. Fans of Divine may also want to check out John Candy's spoof of the larger-than-life actress within a segment on SCTV's holiday episode from 1981. See the margin note on page 123 for more details.

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

Christmas is officially on its way when I see Santa Claus at the end of Macy's parade on Thanksgiving morning. This particular parade has become permanently associated with Christmas because of the popular movie Miracle on 34th Street. There have been several versions of the story including 1947's black-and-white version with Natalie Wood playing the skeptical little Susan Walker and 1994's color version with Mara Wilson in the same role. There is also at least three made-for-TV versions including one from 1973 starring Sebastian Cabot (that's Family Affair's Mr. French to TV junkies), one from 1959 starring Ed Wynn as Kris Kringle, and one from 1955 that was an installment of the anthology drama series The 20th Century-Fox Hour that is floating around under the misleading title "Meet Mr. Kringle."

But if you're looking to see another Christmas story with Macy's parade, check out the 1966 episode of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. entitled "The Jingle Bells Affair." Here spies Napoleon Solo and Kuryakin are providing security for the Russian Chairman who is scheduled to speak at the UN after the holiday. However, the Chairman is so impressed with the parade and the abundance at Macy's department store that his comrades fear that he will betray the Communist commitment. An awesome Cold war episode. See page 81 for the original discussion of this episode in the book.

Meri Kurisumasu!

That's 'Merry Christmas' in Japanese (so I've been told!?) and if you're an avid anime fan you may want to check out the free download on the book's website. It is an excerpt of the anime listings found within The Christmas TV Companion--including an Astro Boy Christmas episode from 1963, two Lupin the 3rd Christmas installments, and 2005's eye-popping My Santa! and its sequel. This download can be found on the webite's 'About the book' page. Check the book's website again in a few weeks for another free download!

http://ChristmasTVCompanion.com