Winners Announced for BlogFest 2011

BlogFest 2011 is finally complete and I have emailed the three winners:

Shadow_Kohler
Retro ReDesign
Lora1967

These winners were selected by using random.org to select three random numbers from the total number of entries acquired over the three day event.  Thanks to everyone that participated.  I hope you found some new interesting blogs to follow just like I did :)  As soon as I hear back from the three winners, I'll delete the BlogFest post to eliminate future scammers from getting everyone's email addresses.  Better safe than sorry.  Thanks to A Journey of Books for organizing this blog hop.

I love giving away free stuff so much, I'm going to have another giveaway at the end of the month!  So if you didn't win this weekend--you'll have another chance in a few weeks.  I'm thinking of getting rid of some brand new Christmas DVDs--is this a good idea?  Tomorrow we'll return to our Christmas in July party and the holiday entertainments made during the 1990s. 

If you didn't win a copy of one of my two books, Tis the Season TV or The Christmas TV Companion, keep in mind that they are BOTH on sale through the rest of the month of July.  When you purchase either of these books through the publisher (right here on the blog, along the right side ----->) you get free shipping as well as several other freebies.  Click on the sale button on the right to check out the details on that offer.

1990s Christmas: Father Ted

Showing how much diversity there is amongst Christmas TV fans, here's a post on the holiday episode of the irreverent and funny BBC Irish sitcom Father Ted.  This comes to us today from my friend Austen.  She and I share a love of all things English including British TV and Doctor Who.  This episode "A Christmassy Ted" is available for viewing on DVD and Netflix, as well as my Youtube channel, TistheSeasonTV in the 1990s playlist.

Father Ted ran for three season, 1995-98.

As far as I’m concerned, "A Christmassy Ted" is the ultimate example of Father Ted wanting acclaim and instead getting lost in the lingerie section of the mall and ridiculed for the accounting irregularities that landed him his current job. We see Father Ted in the parochial house on Craggy Island off the west coast of Ireland living with the halfwit Father Dougal McGuire and the aging unbathed alcoholic Father Jack Hackett.

"Tea for everyone!" proudly exclaims Mrs. Doyle

 I fell in love with the show through Mrs. Doyle, the housekeeper who lives to serve tea (with an optional biscuit). Through all her strangeness, she does her job of keeping the priests fed and well looked after, and is always pleasant. I aim at being more like Mrs. Doyle, but when I fall short and end up being Father Jack, then I still get to end the day with “FECK! ARSE! KNICKERS!” Life is good.

Father Jack is smiling--he must be pleased by someone else's misery.

For Christmas, Father Ted buys Mrs. Doyle a tea making machine because he hopes it will make her life easier. She sabotages the machine and explains “Maybe I like the misery!” What a woman!

Mrs. Doyle isn't really happy with the Christmas present of a Tea Master machine from Father Ted

If I were stuck on an island, this group would be my ideal set of roommates. Wanted: three grumpy priests. At least one should be fairly sedentary. A housekeeper is a must, I won’t be doing any of the cleaning or cooking. I also expect regular tea breaks. A Golden Cleric Award on top of the mantle might be a nice addition. Another priest should still have hopes for a better life; that’ll make for better book discussions. The final priest can be dumb as a rock as long as he’s nice; might somehow provide entertainment.

Halfwit Father McGuire played by comedic actor Ardal O'Hanlon

That “stuck on an island,” feel might be what makes this show perfect for watching while homesick. I used it many times to translate what was happening while I was living in a foreign country. At the end of the day everybody gets a cup of tea and the chance to start over pretty much where they were the day before. If we’re lucky, we’ll get to watch Mrs. Doyle fall out the window, too.

Watch your step, Mrs. Doyle!

1990s Christmas: Boogie Nights

Today's guest blogger is Bob Ignizio, the editor of The Cleveland Movie Blog.  The writers at The Cleveland Movie Blog include reviews and information about the latest major studio and independent film releases.  Please check them out.  Bob wanted to write about one of his favorite Christmas scenes in a movie, one found within 1997's Boogie Nights. Thanks to Bob for this great post and his wicked Christmas spirit :)

BUCK SWOPE'S CHRISTMAS MIRACLE
'BOOGIE NIGHTS' AND THE HOLIDAY SEASON
By Bob Ignizio

One of the great strengths of Paul Thomas Anderson's BOOGIE NIGHTS (1997) is the way it creates characters you genuinely like and care about despite their lack of judgment, lapses of morality, and involvement in pornography, a profession that many view as sordid and disgusting. After a sex and drug fueled romp through the seventies, things start to go downhill for just about everyone in the film in the eighties. BOOGIE NIGHTS reaches what is probably its lowest point in a scene that  takes place on December 11th, 1983. The heady days of  seventies “porno chic” seem an eternity ago.  Christmas decorations and festive doughnuts act as ironic counterpoints to the depression and horror these characters lives have descended into.

Burt Reynolds as director Jack Horner

 Director Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds) once dreamed of making an erotic masterpiece; the XXX equivalent of CITIZEN KANE, if you will. Now he's reduced to shooting on video tape. His current production is nothing but Jack riding around in a limo with his star Roller Girl (Heather Graham). They're hoping to entice a random passer-by into having sex on camera in the back of the car, but things turn ugly when the guy they pick up turns out to be an old classmate of Roller Girl's. After failing to perform sexually, the man takes it out on Roller Girl by insulting her and denigrating her chosen profession. On top of that, he belittles Jack's abilities as a filmmaker. Humiliated and enraged, Jack and Roller Girl beat the guy within an inch of his life before driving away.

Dirk Diggler and Roller Girl

At the same time, Jack's one-time biggest star Dirk Diggler (Mark Wahlberg) is so strung out on drugs that he's no longer up to the task of performing in adult movies. To support his habit, Dirk has turned to prostitution. Christmas lights and decorations adorn the bank where Dirk meets a potential John in the parking lot. Dirk gets into the man's pick-up truck and begins touching himself at the driver's request, but it soon becomes apparent that Dirk can't get an erection. Not that it would matter, since the man is really only interested in engaging in a little gay bashing with his friends.

So far plenty of impotence and beatings, which I hope doesn't describe your typical holiday season. And it's going to get worse before it gets better. Buck Swope (Don Cheadle), easily the most decent and likeable actor in Jack's stable of studs, drives past the parking lot where, unbeknownst to him, Dirk is taking a beating. He has other things on his mind. His girlfriend Jesse St. Vincent (Melora Walters) is pregnant with their child. Buck wants to provide for his family by opening a stereo store, a legitimate business he's actually cut out for. Unfortunately, the bank won't give him a loan because of his X-rated past. But more pressingly, Jesse is in serious need of a doughnut fix.

Mmmm...doughnuts!

Buck stops at an all but empty doughnut store. There are Santa Claus decorations on the walls, and Buck takes an almost childlike joy in the special holiday doughnuts in the display case. But his happiness soon turns to terror as an armed robber comes in and demands the store's cash. The clerk does his best to comply with the robber's demands, putting the money from both the register and the safe into a paper bag. He's not fast enough, though. The shop's only other customer, a bearded man reading a hunting magazine while sitting in a booth, pulls out a gun and shoots the robber. This leads to a chain reaction as the robber shoots the customer with his last breath. The customer in turn accidentally discharges his firearm as he falls over in death himself, hitting the clerk in the head.

A bloody Christmas miracle?

Dressed head to toe in white that is now covered in great splotches of red, Buck looks like a gore soaked Santa. He's in shock, but unhurt. As he begins to come out of his shock, Buck realizes that the bag of money is sitting on the floor. Until now, as I've said, Buck has been the one consistently decent, moral (Yes, moral. So what if he has sex on film?) character in the movie. We know this isn't an easy choice for him, but his future and that of his family is at stake. He takes the money and high tails it out of there, much to the shock and puzzlement of Jesse. And because we've come to like Buck so much, we find it difficult to judge him for this act. Better to think of it as some kind of twisted Christmas miracle bestowed upon Buck by a God or universe that may not be uncaring, but certainly has a twisted sense of humor.

The scene from Boogie Nights

1990s Christmas: Tales from the Crypt

When Roza Haidet first suggested she would like to write about this episode from Tales from the Crypt for the 1990s Christmas in July party, I hesitated.  Then, I figured December 1989 is only one month from the 1990s AND it is such a great episode--why not?  I'm glad I gave her the go-ahead because she wrote a fantastic piece.  Roza has several things in which she's involved including filmmaking, available at www.CompoundPictures.com and her Etsy store (Rusty Chain) with her beautiful jewelry.  This episode of Tales from the Crypt is available for viewing on DVD and Netflix as well as my Youtube channel, TistheSeasonTV, on the 1980s playlist.  Thanks again to Roza for today's post.

A Creepy Crypt-y Christmas

by Roza Haidet

    As a child, I always had to watch Tales from the Crypt at my grandparent’s house even though it would give me nightmares.  They had cable!  What was I supposed to do?  There was something intriguing about the formula of the stories and, of course, the pun-spewing Crypt Keeper, which my cousin insisted was a real thing.  (Mind you, my cousin was kind of a pathological liar.  He also told me hover boards were real... you can imagine my disappointment.)  Nevertheless, I have fond memories in footie pajamas with my brother and my cousin on our grandmother’s floor watching the screen wide-eyed in the dark, nibbling on cheese curls and sipping sugary soda.  Where does the Christmas theme come in, you ask?  Coincidentally, it just so happens that one of the best episodes of Tales from the Crypt is also the only Christmas episode.  ‘And All Through the House’ is not only brimming with Christmas cheer, but also Christmas terror.  There is always a horrific aspect to something so joyful as Christmas that we feel deep inside our hearts.  There is a yin to every yang, and I tend to enjoy a little salty with my sweets; some cheese curls with my soda, if you will.  I don’t want to spoil the whole thing, so a brief synopsis will have to do. 

Is that YOU, Santa?

The episode begins with the Crypt Keeper in a fleshy Santa Claus mask, covering his horrible face with a equally terrifying replacement.  (Speaking of...have you ever noticed that actress Grace Zabriskie looks a lot like the Crypt Keeper?  It’s terribly uncanny, but that’s beside the point.)  Anyways, the story opens with a husband and wife sitting by the fireplace with Christmas music playing in the background.  The wife picks up the fire poker and the husband says, “Let me have it.”  The wife replies,“Merry Christmas you son of a bitch,” as she plunges the poker deep into his skull.  She happily wraps his head in a cellophane bag with a red bow and drags his body outside to throw it in the well. 

Somebody is being naughty this Christmas

Meanwhile, her daughter attempts to sleep upstairs while impatiently waiting for Santa’s visit.  As the murder cover up continues, the radio comes on warning residents about an axe-wielding psycho killer who is on the loose dressed as Santa Claus.  I think you see where it’s going from here, right?  Well, of course the killer shows up at the house and the recent widow realizes that she can’t call the police because her belated husband’s bloody body is laying in the snow covered front yard.  The creepy Santa psycho killer attempts to break into the house and the little girl thinks he’s the real Santa Claus trying to get into the house to give her presents.  She innocently lets him in the front door and... I think your imagination can take you from there.

Cue the holiday music: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose..."

Obviously there is a lot of violence, blood, jump scares, witty interjections and puns sprinkled throughout this episode as there is in every episode of Tales from the Crypt.  Embracing the cheesy goriness is part of it’s appeal and like any good story, there is always a moral lesson to be learned at the end. 

Are YOU going to let Santa in the house next Christmas?

Shows like this are apart of the grind-house, b-rated silliness/gruesomeness that I have grown to love and I’m sure many of you do, too.  It’s the ultimate escape from everyday dullness and mediocrity.  I guess I have to thank my grandparents for having cable television and the Crypt Keeper for giving a little girl something to be scared about in the 90’s.  They are the reason why I like a little Halloween mixed in with my Christmas.  But remember what the Crypt Keeper says....
“Be careful what you ‘axe’ for for Christmas.  You might just get it.” 

Get it?  What you axe for?

1990s Christmas: Living Single

'Living Single' ran for five seasons on Fox

Is the heat of the summer getting to you?  Maybe you could chill out with a classic sitcom Christmas episode to mellow your hot July afternoon.  I know I could.  Today's post comes to us from John, or Aunt John as some of you may recognize, from the coolest site in the blogesphere, Kindertrauma.  Have you been traumatized for life by a movie, TV show, book, or toy?  Are you into horror movies and scary things?  Then Kindertrauma is for you.  Click here to check it out.  Thanks again to John for his passion about this TV show and his willingness to share it with us today.  BTW: Sign me up for your class on female driven sitcoms at the Learning Annex!  This episode is available for viewing on DVD and Netflix as well as my Youtube channel Tisthe SeasonTV under the 1990s playlist.

Synclaire (Kim Coles) has the right Christmas spirit

In a post-‘90s kind of world, I am glad I got my Living Single girls to not only remind me of the true meaning of Christmas but to also serve as a cautionary reminder of the perils of wearing over-sized plaid vests on television (more on the latter later.) The holidays are in full swing in the Season One episode “Living Kringle” and the yuletide action centers around simple-minded Synclaire’s (the hilarious Kim Coles) thwarted attempt to imbue her self-centered friends with the Christmas spirit via a tree-trimming party. Shortly after Synclaire gets a little frisky under the mistletoe with dreamboat building handyman Overton (John Henton, who, by the way, has an open invitation to stuff my stocking!), her holiday soiree is derailed as every last one of her lousy friends suddenly find themselves with better things to do with their time than sing carols, string cranberries and hang balls from a dead pine tree.

Overton (John Henton) with the mistletoe, "My, My My..."

Fashion plate pal Régine (Kim Fields) cares more about earning boutique commissions, Max (Erika Alexander) gets a booty call, Kyle (T.C. Carson) has to close an important business deal of some sort, and Overton has to fish another fruitcake out of another tenant’s toilet.  Rather than stay with her visibly crushed cousin, Khadijah (Queen Latifah) makes a break for the door to put the finishing touches on the next issue of Flavor magazine. Holidays be damned, that Monie Love cover story has to get to the presses!

Sad and disappointed, Synclaire goes to a bar on Christmas

Doing what most people do at the holidays when they are disappointed by friends, family, and the overall shitty state of humanity in general, Synclaire takes refuge in a dive bar and shares her merriment with the weirdest looking set of extras sent over from Central Casting. And as our sad Synclaire drowns her sorrows in a double ginger ale, each of her aforementioned fair-holiday friends discover the true meaning of Christmas in the little gifts she has left for them.  And when you think about it, what are the holidays really for, if not to bitch-slap our supposed loved ones with a little guilt? (Hey, I was raised Catholic; that’s what my family does.) Go Synclaire! Not so simple-minded after all.

Regine (Kim Fields) rethinking her holiday selfishness

In the midst of making her monstrous 15% commission, Régine finds a gift bag with the Barbie Corvette she had never gotten as a child. Khadijah discovers a starfish on the Flavor magazine office tree that her Mother would not let have when she was little. Max scores a pair of tickets to see the Nutcracker to relive her grade school glory as the Rat King. Overton gets a VHS copy of his favorite holiday special “The Little Elf That Could,” and Kyle ends up some bizarre Kwanzaa paperweight that is never fully addressed after he flashes it at the camera.

Synclaire caroling with her new friends

Realizing their selfishness, the five friends track Synclaire to the hole-in-the-wall bar, confess the err in their ways, and beg her to come home and finish trimming the tree. Rightfully hesitant, Synclaire only agrees after her friends join her newfound plastered pals in a rousing rendition of “Walking in a Winter Wonderland.” Which of course they do, because really, if you think about it, Synclaire has them by the proverbial Christmas balls; if anyone bothered to buy me the Jaime Sommers doll my Mom wouldn’t let me have for Christmas when I was a kid, I would gladly perform an impromptu version of “Deck the Halls” acoustically with a pack of ne’er-do-wells.

Oh no he didn't!

Originally airing December 19, 1993, “Living Kringle” still holds up some near 18 years later as highly enjoyable, multiple-camera situation comedy. I rented Disc 3 of Season 1 from Netflix specifically for the purposes of this review, and I bet you can guess what other discs have since made their way to the top of my queue. The writing is super tight, aided by a non-intrusive, studio-enhanced laugh track and the timing of the actresses is really something to behold. Seriously, whenever I get around to teaching a master class in female driven sit-coms at the Learning Annex, Living Single will be required viewing on the syllabus. 

Would a hip and powerful NYC magazine publisher wear this plaid bag? really?

My only gripe with the show lies with the Costume Department. Who thought it was a good idea to dress Queen Latifah in this unflattering plaid vest? Her character is not going fly-fishing nor is she a check-out girl at the Quilt Barn. Khadijah James edits the most important hip-hop magazine to ever come out of Brooklyn. Flavor Magazine, and don’t you forget it. All hail the Queen!

1990s Christmas: Jingle All the Way

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger share in common with Star Wars?  This crazy Christmas movie, that's what!  The actor who plays the son, Jamie Langston, is Jake Lloyd who also went on to star in Star Wars: the Phantom Menace as the young Anakin Skywalker.  I know, right?

Young Anakin in 1999's The Phantom Menace

Since I was already an adult when this 1996 theatrical release family movie came out, my enjoyment of Jingle All the Way relies on seeing the familiar cast members in outrageous roles. The ensemble cast includes the brilliant Phil Hartman as the amorous neighbor Ted;  Jim Belushi as the con man/Santa Claus; Danny Woodburn as Tony the elf; and, Robert Conrad as Officer Hummell.  Sinbad plays Langston's rival Myron and of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Howard Langston, Rita Wilson is his wife Liz, and Jake Lloyd is Jamie.  In smaller roles, you can also spot Laraine Newman, Martin Mull, Curtis Armstrong, Chris Parnell, Mo Collins, Richard Moll and Harvey Korman.  There are comedians and funny people crowded into very corner of this film!

Hot stuff/tough guy Robert Conrad, my teenage obsession starred in Wild, Wild West, Hawaiian Eye, and Baa Baa Blacksheep. Here Conrad plays the thug, Officer Hummell.

 In case you haven't seen it before:  Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Howard Langston, a father known for his broken promises to his son Jamie.  This year for Christmas, Jamie wants the hottest toy of the season, a Turbo Man action figure, and Howard really needs to make good on his promise.  Putting it off until Christmas Eve, Howard begins his day long odyssey to acquire the toy.  His long quest involves searching the empty shelves of a local toy store as well as a trip to the Mall of America, negotiating with a con man disguised as Santa Claus and avoiding rabid reindeer. Howard also has to outrun another desperate father, a mailman named Myron looking for the same elusive toy.  Empty handed, Howard looks to join his family downtown only to find a new opportunity: to play Turbo Man on a Christmas parade float and choose one child to receive a special limited edition of the coveted action figure. 

Ahnuld as Turbo Man on the parade float.

This film's plot took advantage of the cultural phenomenon of one special toy becoming the hottest, most desirable Christmas gift for children each year.  The first time I remember this occuring was in the 1980s when Cabbage Patch Dolls became THE must-have doll.  Parents were spotted fighting in stores and some were even willing to pay hundreds of dollars just to acquire the sold-out, elusive toy. Since then, we've seen the Tickle-Me Elmo reach similar heights of demand as well as electronic game systems and games.  This phenomenon has become so common it has worked its way into plotlines for movies such as Jingle All the Way as well as many TV episode plots.  Which ones do you remember?  (I love the episode 'Marge Be Not Proud' of the The Simpsons--where the hot toy is the videogame Bonestorm.  It is so desirable that Bart shoplifts it from the store and gets caught!) Do you remember another movie, special or episode that centers around acquiring THE most desirable toy of the Christmas season?

Lawrence Tierney voices the gruff Try 'N Save store security guard

 The 1996 movie Jingle All the Way airs tomorrow Sunday, July 10th at 3:25 pm (EST) on HBO Family channel and repeats several times throughout the rest of the month of July.

1990s Christmas: recap

We're moving right along through our Christmas in July party.  Were you able to keep up with all the guest bloggers over the 4th of July weekend?  So far, these are the 1990s Christmas entertainments:

~~The Tick written by Ken Reid

~~The Adventures of Pete & Pete by Dominic Caruso

~~South Park by Vince Baglia

~~the theatrical release movie Home Alone by me :)

~~The X-Files by Wings

~~Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Lance Vaughan

My publisher, 1701 Press, is also having a sale on both my books Tis the Season TV and The Christmas TV Companion this month.  Click here for the details and a list of the freebies that come with each of those books.  (While supplies last!)

As Christmas in July continues, I'll be posting more guest bloggers writing about holiday-themed specials, episodes and movies.  I hope you're enjoying them as much as I am.  Thanks again to the guest bloggers who are doing a fantastic job.  And, I still have a few days open at the end of July if there is anyone else who wants to participate.  I'll be glad to help suggest a title for you to write about--if a 1990s-made entertainment doesn't immediately come to mind.  You can also search on Netflix.  I happen to know there are many 1990s programs streaming right now.  Or, you can peruse my 1990s playlist on my YouTube channel Tis the Season TV.  If you are inspired to join in the fun and be a guest blogger, contact me immediately so we can get you signed up.  Tomorrow, I'm writing about Arnold Schwarzenegger in Jingle All the Way.  No one else signed up for it--so it's all mine!!  Merry Christmas in July!